you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I didn't notice because vodka
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize