with your own penis?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
