I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
