Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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