You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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