so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
