I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This baby is an asshole
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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