He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
