Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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