she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
