he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
