Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize