Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
