How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
