By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
