I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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