Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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