when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
