remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
