just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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