He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
