dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
