Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
