Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
