How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize