so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
