also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize