omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
