He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
