Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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