I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
