I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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