You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
