Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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