I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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