Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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