Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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