after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
