he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize