Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sext me about skeletons
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
