thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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