Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
