Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
