Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
