I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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