I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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