How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
