I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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