If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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