Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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