You're earring is so big in my mouth
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
