Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize