I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm always down for nudity.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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