Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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