I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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