Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
