oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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