just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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