So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think my vagina is haunted
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize