I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
