nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
