so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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