DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize