last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
jump out the window naked night went bad
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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