You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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