Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
