You work out of a Hotel?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
