We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize