Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
