oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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