am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
