So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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