FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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