Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize