i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize