but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
