In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
