butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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